Weddings and Other Life Changes
“Kari, try to hold still so I can measure you for your dress.”
“Mama, am I a bridesmaid?”
“I guess so, Honey, though I think ten is too young. Ashley thinks ten is too old for a flower girl, and it’s what Ashley thinks that counts.”
“’Cause it’s her wedding, right?”
“Right,” agreed Mother.
Kari was quiet while Sandy measured.
“Mother?” she said after being released. Kari was looking down, uncharacteristically thoughtful. Sandy tensed up.
“Did you have a big wedding like Ashley?”
“Yes, we…I did.”
“Mother, were you as in love with Daddy as Ashley is with David?”
“Yes, Dear, I was.”
Sandy focused hard on the notes she was writing for her sewing project. “Come on, Kari, we have to meet Ashley at the mall.”
In the car, Kari spoke again. “How old was I when you and Daddy divorced, Mother?”
“You were two years old, Dear. Why?”
“Ashley remembers when you and Daddy used to laugh and play together like she and David do. Sam says you used to read books together and stuff. I wish I could remember that stuff—about you and Dad.”
“I see. I’m sorry, Dear. But you’ll be seeing your daddy next week. You’ll have him all to yourself because Sam is there now. I’ll be calling your daddy tonight about the wedding. You want to talk to him after me?”
“Sure.”
***
Jacob Austen was exhausted from riding bikes all day with his son. Sam now sat on the floor by the fire, his journal opened in his lap. Jacob picked up his current book, and opened to the marked page.
Out of the blue, Sam spoke. “Daddy, why did you and Mom divorce?”
Jacob cleared his throat. “Son, why are you bringing that up now? That’s history.”
“Well, it’s something about my history, Daddy, that I need to know.”
Jacob put down his book. He put his fingers together and looked at his son as he sat there by the fireplace, his journal and pen beside him. Somehow, he felt he was taking a permanent mental picture of his son at that moment. Jacob cleared his throat again.
“Really, Sam, I don’t know.”
“What? You have to know, Dad.”
“All I remember is that we had an argument one day. I don’t remember what it was about. We were both very angry. After that we never talked much. We … just didn’t forgive each other. One day, we decided to separate. We didn’t divorce until a year later.”
“You don’t remember what you argued about?” Sam looked unbelieving.
“No, Son, I don’t. Your mother probably does. Your mother and I are both very hard-headed. Neither of us wanted to say we were sorry.”
“Dad, why did you never marry again?”
“I never wanted to. Your mother was the only woman I ever thought about marrying.”
Sam and Jacob stared at one another. The phone rang. Sam rose to answer it and in a moment carried it to his dad.
“Mom wants to talk to you.”
“Your mom wants to talk to me?” Jacob asked as though he didn’t understand the words.
“Hello, Jacob. I need to talk to you about the wedding.”
“About the wedding?” Jacob swallowed hard.
“Yes, the wedding. Your daughter’s wedding. Remember? We have so many issues to resolve. I really think we’re going to have to get together with Ashley and David.”
“Issues to resolve.” He repeated blankly.
“Jacob, what’s wrong? Are you okay?”
“Oh, sure, I’m fine. Sorry, Sandy. Sam and I were talking. I was … having trouble switching gears. That’s all. I’m back now, Sandy. When and where are we to meet?”
***
“Ashley, I’m ready to attach the bodice of your gown to the skirt, I think. But I need you to try this on once more.”
“Again?” Ashley laughed, and took the bodice. “It’s all right, Mom. I’m trying to savor every detail of this preparation rather than let it make me crazy. I want to remember everything that led up to this wedding from the day I met Dave, his proposal, the shopping, dressmaking, meeting with Dad, everything.”
“Which meeting? When David asked your dad’s permission, or when we met the other day?”
“Well, both, of course. I was just thinking of meeting the other day at Dave’s table, making plans. Dad sure did act strange that day. You think he’s okay, Mom?”
“I don’t know. Lately he acts like he’s forgotten something he’s trying hard to remember. Something’s plaguing him. I guess it kinda throws a guy off when some boy wonders up and walks off with his daughter.”
“You think that’s it, Mom? It’s about me getting married?”
“I don’t know, Dear. I need to focus on finishing this dress now.”
Ashley put her hands on top of her mother’s and looked into her mother’s eyes.
“What is it, Ashley? Are you having second thoughts?”
“No, Mother, and I never will. Mother, why did you never re-marry?”
“I don’t know, Ashley. I just never met anyone. It never came up.”
“No, because you never dated anyone. I remember Mr. Green asking you out once, and Mr. Barney. He was nice. I know you had chances to date some good men.”
“All boring. I couldn’t marry a man that bores me, nor could I date them.” Mother took the bodice in hand as she spoke, and moved over to the sewing machine.
“Father wasn’t boring?”
“Heavens, no! Are you kidding? He was so funny. That’s why he’s a successful writer. Everything that came out of his mouth was funny. He can make you laugh even when you’re mad at him. We used to talk for hours. No, your daddy wasn’t boring. Maddening, maybe! But not boring.”
“Do you still love him, Mom?”
“Ashley,” Sandy looked sharply at her daughter, “just let me give you one piece of advice. When you get angry with David…because it will happen sometimes, Ashley, after you’ve been together a while…find a way to cool off and get over it. Give in when you can. But always forgive. It’s not worth it…getting your way. It’s just not worth it. And you are headstrong just like I was… am.”
“Do you still love him, Mom?”
“I don’t think one ever stops loving where one truly loved. Maybe the love just has to change sometimes.”
Sandy looked up. Her eyes were filled with moisture. One drop spilled over. She wiped it away. “Ashley, I can’t talk about this any more. I’ve learned to live with my mistakes. I have to go on with life.”
Ashley kissed and hugged her mom, then turned and went out. She and Kari and Sam were going out tonight—for their sibling date.
***
Jacob stood with his daughter in the foyer of the scariest church building he’d ever been in. Not scary because it was large and beautiful with stained glass windows. Was it scary because he was giving his daughter away? She was so happy and gorgeous; and she whispered encouragement into his ear, which scared him even more. Oh how she reminded him of Sandy. If this guy didn’t do better by her than he’d done by her mother… I don’t trust him! And that wasn’t all. It was hard facing this evening’s events. There was only one way he could bare it!
He watched his son now as he took his mother down to seat her. She would walk back out on his arm.
***
Now Sandy sat beside Jacob and watched David kiss Ashley. Tears began to flow. She couldn’t let this happen! She was afraid she couldn’t stop. She jerked back on herself with a loud sob. Jacob looked down at her. She looked up at him. He had tears too! He put his arm carefully across her shoulders. The shock of his touch stopped her tears.
They were standing now. David and Ashley started down the aisle. They stopped by Jacob, and Ashley gave her dad and mom one big hug together and smiled a telling smile at Dad. Then she took her husband’s arm and went on down the aisle. A few minutes later, Jacob led Sandy out into the aisle. She took his arm.
As he pushed through the foyer, David laid his hand on Sandy’s. He led her out the front door and away from the direction of the out coming folks. He whispered, “Sandy, do you know I still love you?”
Her knees gave out. She started to crumble. He caught her and led her to a bench.
“Sandy, he whispered Do you love me a little?” She nodded, dumbly.
“Enough to marry me, Honey? I’ll try to make you happy this time.”
“Jacob! You always made me happy. I was selfish. I can’t promise I won’t be selfish again.”
“Does that mean yes?”
She nodded and looked up suddenly.
His eyebrows went up, and simultaneously Jacob and Sandy said, “The kids did this, didn’t they?” Then Jacob and Sandy both at once nodded and began to laugh.
“Kari, try to hold still so I can measure you for your dress.”
“Mama, am I a bridesmaid?”
“I guess so, Honey, though I think ten is too young. Ashley thinks ten is too old for a flower girl, and it’s what Ashley thinks that counts.”
“’Cause it’s her wedding, right?”
“Right,” agreed Mother.
Kari was quiet while Sandy measured.
“Mother?” she said after being released. Kari was looking down, uncharacteristically thoughtful. Sandy tensed up.
“Did you have a big wedding like Ashley?”
“Yes, we…I did.”
“Mother, were you as in love with Daddy as Ashley is with David?”
“Yes, Dear, I was.”
Sandy focused hard on the notes she was writing for her sewing project. “Come on, Kari, we have to meet Ashley at the mall.”
In the car, Kari spoke again. “How old was I when you and Daddy divorced, Mother?”
“You were two years old, Dear. Why?”
“Ashley remembers when you and Daddy used to laugh and play together like she and David do. Sam says you used to read books together and stuff. I wish I could remember that stuff—about you and Dad.”
“I see. I’m sorry, Dear. But you’ll be seeing your daddy next week. You’ll have him all to yourself because Sam is there now. I’ll be calling your daddy tonight about the wedding. You want to talk to him after me?”
“Sure.”
***
Jacob Austen was exhausted from riding bikes all day with his son. Sam now sat on the floor by the fire, his journal opened in his lap. Jacob picked up his current book, and opened to the marked page.
Out of the blue, Sam spoke. “Daddy, why did you and Mom divorce?”
Jacob cleared his throat. “Son, why are you bringing that up now? That’s history.”
“Well, it’s something about my history, Daddy, that I need to know.”
Jacob put down his book. He put his fingers together and looked at his son as he sat there by the fireplace, his journal and pen beside him. Somehow, he felt he was taking a permanent mental picture of his son at that moment. Jacob cleared his throat again.
“Really, Sam, I don’t know.”
“What? You have to know, Dad.”
“All I remember is that we had an argument one day. I don’t remember what it was about. We were both very angry. After that we never talked much. We … just didn’t forgive each other. One day, we decided to separate. We didn’t divorce until a year later.”
“You don’t remember what you argued about?” Sam looked unbelieving.
“No, Son, I don’t. Your mother probably does. Your mother and I are both very hard-headed. Neither of us wanted to say we were sorry.”
“Dad, why did you never marry again?”
“I never wanted to. Your mother was the only woman I ever thought about marrying.”
Sam and Jacob stared at one another. The phone rang. Sam rose to answer it and in a moment carried it to his dad.
“Mom wants to talk to you.”
“Your mom wants to talk to me?” Jacob asked as though he didn’t understand the words.
“Hello, Jacob. I need to talk to you about the wedding.”
“About the wedding?” Jacob swallowed hard.
“Yes, the wedding. Your daughter’s wedding. Remember? We have so many issues to resolve. I really think we’re going to have to get together with Ashley and David.”
“Issues to resolve.” He repeated blankly.
“Jacob, what’s wrong? Are you okay?”
“Oh, sure, I’m fine. Sorry, Sandy. Sam and I were talking. I was … having trouble switching gears. That’s all. I’m back now, Sandy. When and where are we to meet?”
***
“Ashley, I’m ready to attach the bodice of your gown to the skirt, I think. But I need you to try this on once more.”
“Again?” Ashley laughed, and took the bodice. “It’s all right, Mom. I’m trying to savor every detail of this preparation rather than let it make me crazy. I want to remember everything that led up to this wedding from the day I met Dave, his proposal, the shopping, dressmaking, meeting with Dad, everything.”
“Which meeting? When David asked your dad’s permission, or when we met the other day?”
“Well, both, of course. I was just thinking of meeting the other day at Dave’s table, making plans. Dad sure did act strange that day. You think he’s okay, Mom?”
“I don’t know. Lately he acts like he’s forgotten something he’s trying hard to remember. Something’s plaguing him. I guess it kinda throws a guy off when some boy wonders up and walks off with his daughter.”
“You think that’s it, Mom? It’s about me getting married?”
“I don’t know, Dear. I need to focus on finishing this dress now.”
Ashley put her hands on top of her mother’s and looked into her mother’s eyes.
“What is it, Ashley? Are you having second thoughts?”
“No, Mother, and I never will. Mother, why did you never re-marry?”
“I don’t know, Ashley. I just never met anyone. It never came up.”
“No, because you never dated anyone. I remember Mr. Green asking you out once, and Mr. Barney. He was nice. I know you had chances to date some good men.”
“All boring. I couldn’t marry a man that bores me, nor could I date them.” Mother took the bodice in hand as she spoke, and moved over to the sewing machine.
“Father wasn’t boring?”
“Heavens, no! Are you kidding? He was so funny. That’s why he’s a successful writer. Everything that came out of his mouth was funny. He can make you laugh even when you’re mad at him. We used to talk for hours. No, your daddy wasn’t boring. Maddening, maybe! But not boring.”
“Do you still love him, Mom?”
“Ashley,” Sandy looked sharply at her daughter, “just let me give you one piece of advice. When you get angry with David…because it will happen sometimes, Ashley, after you’ve been together a while…find a way to cool off and get over it. Give in when you can. But always forgive. It’s not worth it…getting your way. It’s just not worth it. And you are headstrong just like I was… am.”
“Do you still love him, Mom?”
“I don’t think one ever stops loving where one truly loved. Maybe the love just has to change sometimes.”
Sandy looked up. Her eyes were filled with moisture. One drop spilled over. She wiped it away. “Ashley, I can’t talk about this any more. I’ve learned to live with my mistakes. I have to go on with life.”
Ashley kissed and hugged her mom, then turned and went out. She and Kari and Sam were going out tonight—for their sibling date.
***
Jacob stood with his daughter in the foyer of the scariest church building he’d ever been in. Not scary because it was large and beautiful with stained glass windows. Was it scary because he was giving his daughter away? She was so happy and gorgeous; and she whispered encouragement into his ear, which scared him even more. Oh how she reminded him of Sandy. If this guy didn’t do better by her than he’d done by her mother… I don’t trust him! And that wasn’t all. It was hard facing this evening’s events. There was only one way he could bare it!
He watched his son now as he took his mother down to seat her. She would walk back out on his arm.
***
Now Sandy sat beside Jacob and watched David kiss Ashley. Tears began to flow. She couldn’t let this happen! She was afraid she couldn’t stop. She jerked back on herself with a loud sob. Jacob looked down at her. She looked up at him. He had tears too! He put his arm carefully across her shoulders. The shock of his touch stopped her tears.
They were standing now. David and Ashley started down the aisle. They stopped by Jacob, and Ashley gave her dad and mom one big hug together and smiled a telling smile at Dad. Then she took her husband’s arm and went on down the aisle. A few minutes later, Jacob led Sandy out into the aisle. She took his arm.
As he pushed through the foyer, David laid his hand on Sandy’s. He led her out the front door and away from the direction of the out coming folks. He whispered, “Sandy, do you know I still love you?”
Her knees gave out. She started to crumble. He caught her and led her to a bench.
“Sandy, he whispered Do you love me a little?” She nodded, dumbly.
“Enough to marry me, Honey? I’ll try to make you happy this time.”
“Jacob! You always made me happy. I was selfish. I can’t promise I won’t be selfish again.”
“Does that mean yes?”
She nodded and looked up suddenly.
His eyebrows went up, and simultaneously Jacob and Sandy said, “The kids did this, didn’t they?” Then Jacob and Sandy both at once nodded and began to laugh.