One Quiet Day
All I wanted was one day to myself—to do whatever I wanted to do—not something someone else planned for me. I decided I just needed to be assertive, and to set aside that day and not back down.
I consulted my calendar to see where I could put this day. It couldn’t be tomorrow. I had to take Mom to the doctor, which meant we would go out to eat, and if she felt like shopping a little…;and I would have to stop at the grocery store before coming home. Then I’d fix supper, and you know--- all the rest. It couldn’t be Tuesday because I was babysitting for Lisa, who had to go to a seminar. And Wednesday night was church, which meant Wednesday I’d spend a lot of time getting ready for the class I had to teach. Maybe Thursday. Nothing was on the calendar for Thursday except a hair cut, and I could always re-schedule that. Sure couldn’t go Friday. I had to take my granddaughter to the dentist at 9:00, meet Don for lunch at 12:00, and my doctor appointment was at 2:00,when they would tell me the results of my biopsy. I shrugged. I felt fine, and the more I thought about that day alone, the better I felt. Friday night there was a board meeting Don and I both had to go to. We’d fit supper in there somewhere. I guess it would be Thursday.
First, I needed to think of what I really wanted to do with that day. Would I want to get a hair cut, then get a lot done at home—like writing. Or would I want to take a long bath, a long devotional time, a long thinking time, and read one long book? That sounded like heaven. I’d call and put off the haircut.
After knowing what I needed the day for, I’d also need to be really firm with others— and myself. I couldn’t be always getting this weak feeling every time someone called and said, “What are you doing Thursday?” I needed to be quick with my answer: “Well, I’ve scheduled a day for myself—to stay home and catch up on some things.” And when that someone said, “Well, I was wondering if you would go [somewhere] with me…” or “I’m actually looking for a babysitter,” then I’d say, “Sorry, hope you find someone” or “Sorry, I just can’t this time. Really have a lot of catching up to do.” No excuses. Maybe just, “Sorry, I can’t do it this time.”
Thursday did come. I thought about sleeping late, but that would shorten My Day. Besides I would still get up and fix coffee and breakfast for Don and see him off. I wanted to do that. But after coffee together, Don said, “No, Dear, you are going to get started with Your Day. I’ll get breakfast on the way. You’re not to worry about me—or about anyone else. You hear? And I’m going with you on Friday to the doctor.”
When the door closed behind Don, I started the day with a long sigh, and sat down to have my quiet time. I reached for my Bible, and the phone rang. I shivered, and I could feel my blood moving through my veins, a thing a person should never feel. It’s okay. I don’t really have to answer the phone. I looked at the caller i.d., a thing a person not planning to answer the phone should never do. It was the doctor’s office. I felt weak all over, but it was okay. They just wanted to confirm that I was coming on Friday.
That reminded me of a call I’d forgotten to make. A thirty-second call, that took ten minutes instead.
I’d just run over to the library and get a good book before I did my exercise and bath. I’d get breakfast at McDonalds on the way. By that time, the library would be opened. I considered leaving my phone at home. But no, I’d better not. If someone needed me…Don or one of the kids, or Mom...
But it wasn’t. It was my friend Charlene. She thought maybe we could have lunch. “Lunch? Well, I …”
“I’m buying. Just thought we could talk better that way. It’ll be fun. Come on, Julia!”
Fun! Yes, it would be fun. But what about My Day? How much of it would be still left? Well, I mean, having lunch with a friend could be part of My Day. Right? “Okay, Charlie, I guess I can fit it in.”
The library took forever. I had the hardest time finding a book I knew I would like and hadn’t already read. I don’t trust new authors. Modern writers stink. But I finally found one and was headed to the checkout desk.
“Hey, Julia! I haven’t seen you in a long time. What are you doing these days?” It was Marianne who loves to talk, and one can’t be rude to a friend just because one has planned a day to oneself. Thirty minutes later, I did get checked out and headed for my car.
I went by Starbucks and picked up a coffee at the window. I happened to look at my clock on the dash as I was settling my coffee and putting my money away. Maybe looking at clocks is another thing one should not do on one’s day off. Good grief! It was 11:00, already! Only one hour before I had to meet Charlie. Oh, well, I’d go home and make the phone calls that had to be done today, maybe fit in my bath.
I kicked off my shoes, and started the bath water while I dialed the first number. Business calls always put me on hold. By the time I got to talk to someone after a string of pushing buttons and being on hold, the bath was full, and the phone call still took fifteen minutes. When all my calls were made, the bath water was cold, and it was time to go to the restaurant to meet Charlene. Oh, well, I’d just let it be an Afternoon to Myself, once lunch was over.
Charlene was wound up and really needed to talk I knew it was important to listen. An hour and a half after we sat down, Charlene said she felt a lot better and she was so grateful for my having taken time to listen to her. We were starting to laugh and enjoy talking when my son Todd called.
“Mom, my car broke down out here on the highway. I’m about thirty minutes from town. Can you come get me?”
When Todd and I got home after a stop at the parts store and his mechanic’s shop, and after picking up his daughter and dropping her at her piano teacher’s house, my husband was already home from work. I got out of my car and handed the key to Todd.
“Hey, where have you been?” asked Don. “I thought you were staying home all day.”
“I thought so too, but …as you can see...”
Don looked at me over the top of his glasses with that Why am I not surprised? look. “I suppose,” said he, “that I should ask why Todd is taking your car.”
“His car broke down. He has to have a way to work tomorrow.” I grinned at him, an involuntary grin.
“Hmmm,” Don grunted, “Maybe we should go out to supper. Sounds like you still need a break.”
“Nope,” said I. “I’m cooking hamburgers tonight. I’ve got a lot to do. No use taking a break now.”
“What do you have to do?”
“Make several phone calls. Call Sandy and tell her I can’t take Rachel to the dentist tomorrow. She’ll have to take off work and take her. Call the doctor and re-schedule my appointment. Then …well you can tell the board I couldn’t show for the meeting. Oh, and I won’t be meeting you for lunch tomorrow either, Darling.” I scrunched up my lips, starting to weaken.
“Wait a minute! Why can’t you go to the doctor?”
“I don’t have a car. That’s why I can’t do any of those things. Todd has my car, remember? Oh, and no one will be able to reach me either. I left my phone in Todd’s car.”
“Call him and tell him to go and get it.”
“No! I can do without my phone for a day. I’ll have the house phone, but I won’t be answering it unless it’s from you. Any emergencies must come through you.”
“But I can take off and take you to the doctor, Julia! This is important!”
“No, you won’t do any such thing. If my not going to the doctor tomorrow has a fatal result, I’ll have one quiet day before I die, Darling.” I kissed him. He gave me a sideways smile.
Hey! And I already had a book for tomorrow.
All I wanted was one day to myself—to do whatever I wanted to do—not something someone else planned for me. I decided I just needed to be assertive, and to set aside that day and not back down.
I consulted my calendar to see where I could put this day. It couldn’t be tomorrow. I had to take Mom to the doctor, which meant we would go out to eat, and if she felt like shopping a little…;and I would have to stop at the grocery store before coming home. Then I’d fix supper, and you know--- all the rest. It couldn’t be Tuesday because I was babysitting for Lisa, who had to go to a seminar. And Wednesday night was church, which meant Wednesday I’d spend a lot of time getting ready for the class I had to teach. Maybe Thursday. Nothing was on the calendar for Thursday except a hair cut, and I could always re-schedule that. Sure couldn’t go Friday. I had to take my granddaughter to the dentist at 9:00, meet Don for lunch at 12:00, and my doctor appointment was at 2:00,when they would tell me the results of my biopsy. I shrugged. I felt fine, and the more I thought about that day alone, the better I felt. Friday night there was a board meeting Don and I both had to go to. We’d fit supper in there somewhere. I guess it would be Thursday.
First, I needed to think of what I really wanted to do with that day. Would I want to get a hair cut, then get a lot done at home—like writing. Or would I want to take a long bath, a long devotional time, a long thinking time, and read one long book? That sounded like heaven. I’d call and put off the haircut.
After knowing what I needed the day for, I’d also need to be really firm with others— and myself. I couldn’t be always getting this weak feeling every time someone called and said, “What are you doing Thursday?” I needed to be quick with my answer: “Well, I’ve scheduled a day for myself—to stay home and catch up on some things.” And when that someone said, “Well, I was wondering if you would go [somewhere] with me…” or “I’m actually looking for a babysitter,” then I’d say, “Sorry, hope you find someone” or “Sorry, I just can’t this time. Really have a lot of catching up to do.” No excuses. Maybe just, “Sorry, I can’t do it this time.”
Thursday did come. I thought about sleeping late, but that would shorten My Day. Besides I would still get up and fix coffee and breakfast for Don and see him off. I wanted to do that. But after coffee together, Don said, “No, Dear, you are going to get started with Your Day. I’ll get breakfast on the way. You’re not to worry about me—or about anyone else. You hear? And I’m going with you on Friday to the doctor.”
When the door closed behind Don, I started the day with a long sigh, and sat down to have my quiet time. I reached for my Bible, and the phone rang. I shivered, and I could feel my blood moving through my veins, a thing a person should never feel. It’s okay. I don’t really have to answer the phone. I looked at the caller i.d., a thing a person not planning to answer the phone should never do. It was the doctor’s office. I felt weak all over, but it was okay. They just wanted to confirm that I was coming on Friday.
That reminded me of a call I’d forgotten to make. A thirty-second call, that took ten minutes instead.
I’d just run over to the library and get a good book before I did my exercise and bath. I’d get breakfast at McDonalds on the way. By that time, the library would be opened. I considered leaving my phone at home. But no, I’d better not. If someone needed me…Don or one of the kids, or Mom...
But it wasn’t. It was my friend Charlene. She thought maybe we could have lunch. “Lunch? Well, I …”
“I’m buying. Just thought we could talk better that way. It’ll be fun. Come on, Julia!”
Fun! Yes, it would be fun. But what about My Day? How much of it would be still left? Well, I mean, having lunch with a friend could be part of My Day. Right? “Okay, Charlie, I guess I can fit it in.”
The library took forever. I had the hardest time finding a book I knew I would like and hadn’t already read. I don’t trust new authors. Modern writers stink. But I finally found one and was headed to the checkout desk.
“Hey, Julia! I haven’t seen you in a long time. What are you doing these days?” It was Marianne who loves to talk, and one can’t be rude to a friend just because one has planned a day to oneself. Thirty minutes later, I did get checked out and headed for my car.
I went by Starbucks and picked up a coffee at the window. I happened to look at my clock on the dash as I was settling my coffee and putting my money away. Maybe looking at clocks is another thing one should not do on one’s day off. Good grief! It was 11:00, already! Only one hour before I had to meet Charlie. Oh, well, I’d go home and make the phone calls that had to be done today, maybe fit in my bath.
I kicked off my shoes, and started the bath water while I dialed the first number. Business calls always put me on hold. By the time I got to talk to someone after a string of pushing buttons and being on hold, the bath was full, and the phone call still took fifteen minutes. When all my calls were made, the bath water was cold, and it was time to go to the restaurant to meet Charlene. Oh, well, I’d just let it be an Afternoon to Myself, once lunch was over.
Charlene was wound up and really needed to talk I knew it was important to listen. An hour and a half after we sat down, Charlene said she felt a lot better and she was so grateful for my having taken time to listen to her. We were starting to laugh and enjoy talking when my son Todd called.
“Mom, my car broke down out here on the highway. I’m about thirty minutes from town. Can you come get me?”
When Todd and I got home after a stop at the parts store and his mechanic’s shop, and after picking up his daughter and dropping her at her piano teacher’s house, my husband was already home from work. I got out of my car and handed the key to Todd.
“Hey, where have you been?” asked Don. “I thought you were staying home all day.”
“I thought so too, but …as you can see...”
Don looked at me over the top of his glasses with that Why am I not surprised? look. “I suppose,” said he, “that I should ask why Todd is taking your car.”
“His car broke down. He has to have a way to work tomorrow.” I grinned at him, an involuntary grin.
“Hmmm,” Don grunted, “Maybe we should go out to supper. Sounds like you still need a break.”
“Nope,” said I. “I’m cooking hamburgers tonight. I’ve got a lot to do. No use taking a break now.”
“What do you have to do?”
“Make several phone calls. Call Sandy and tell her I can’t take Rachel to the dentist tomorrow. She’ll have to take off work and take her. Call the doctor and re-schedule my appointment. Then …well you can tell the board I couldn’t show for the meeting. Oh, and I won’t be meeting you for lunch tomorrow either, Darling.” I scrunched up my lips, starting to weaken.
“Wait a minute! Why can’t you go to the doctor?”
“I don’t have a car. That’s why I can’t do any of those things. Todd has my car, remember? Oh, and no one will be able to reach me either. I left my phone in Todd’s car.”
“Call him and tell him to go and get it.”
“No! I can do without my phone for a day. I’ll have the house phone, but I won’t be answering it unless it’s from you. Any emergencies must come through you.”
“But I can take off and take you to the doctor, Julia! This is important!”
“No, you won’t do any such thing. If my not going to the doctor tomorrow has a fatal result, I’ll have one quiet day before I die, Darling.” I kissed him. He gave me a sideways smile.
Hey! And I already had a book for tomorrow.